Toxic positivity can lead to mental health effects. It may be subtle at first but over time, the effects can snowball. From starting to brush off problems rather than facing them to feeling guilty about being sad, angry, or disappointed and even trying to be stoic or "get over" painful emotions, these effects are something we cannot realize instantly but they are definitely not healthy. Long-term suppressed emotions can later lead to anxiety, depression, and even physical illnesses since the body is also well affected by stress. Further psychological studies were done that conclude that when one suppresses and denies emotion, it leads to more internalized stress and even difficulty avoiding distressing thoughts and feelings (See here).

 

When understanding toxic positivity, it is important to differentiate between toxic statements and understanding, empathetic statements, especially when helping out someone, and even yourself through a tough time. 

 

Here are some ways we can all start incorporating non-toxic statements:

• Instead of: “Everything will be ok,” say, “I hear you, take your time.”

• Instead of “Keep smiling, you got this,” say, “I understand how you feel.” 

• Instead of:  “Smile! Crying won’t help,” say, “It’s okay to cry, just let it out.”

• Instead of: “It’s not that bad,” say, “ I am here for you.” 

 

Here presented are only a few ways to start preventing toxicity especially when we mean well. The importance of toxic positivity is that it is ingrained in us to say these statements when the situation calls for it. It has gotten to the point where we really don’t understand what the statement connotes and what kind of effect it leaves on others and even on ourselves! Many people don’t know what toxic positivity is, and it should be time to bring more awareness. 

 

So yes, not everything will be okay. Not everything will be perfect or good. And that is perfectly fine. You can feel sad, angry, confused, nervous– and everything in between. Happiness isn’t always the key to everything in life. Your true feelings are valid.